Can't Stand It
by HateToSayIToldYouSo
Summary: The standpoints of Seth, Sandy, and Kirsten. Mainly Kirsten. 15th and final chapter added after a ridiculously time! Please read and review! ;)
1. Default Chapter

Hey, all . . . this is my first "O.C." story, so be kind if you can help it. ;) This is just my take on what happened after the finale. Except Seth didn't go dramatically sailing off into the sunset, because that was just too sad for me. It's a little weird . . . but let me know what you think! ;) xoxo, Claire  
  
He hated to see her cry, yet at the same time he didn't want to know why she was doing so. She never cried. There were selective moments of vulnerability or emotional overtake, but they were rare incidents. This had to be something serious; he was quite sure of the fact that he had never seen her quite like this and he worried that he wouldn't be able to help her.  
  
"He'll visit," he offered gently as he stroked her hair. "We'll visit." He didn't understand this. He thought of Ryan's early days and Kirsten's near hatred for him, and he thought of the series of less than satisfactory events following his entrance into their family that made her more and more uneasy of him. It didn't make sense. Kirsten couldn't control her sobs and her shoulders shook. She couldn't explain her feelings, or at least their severity. Images of Seth flooded her mind, images that she had taken care to forget. At eight years old, he sat leaning against her in a similar fashion to how she sat now, crying because a little tribe of girls had made fun of his science project and then a bunch of little boys had destroyed it, setting his pet mice free and stomping the carefully crafted wooden maze that he and Sandy had spent a week of evenings working on. When he was nine, she ditched a charity function to take him to a movie after one of his classmates had a birthday party and invited everyone but him. Just a few years ago he had come home looking miserable and covered with paint and explained cryptically and on the verge of tears, "Just some guys messing around." She thought of all the "sick days" she let him take, usually on the days of class parties and other school-wide social events. She could scarcely breathe and Sandy rubbed her back.  
  
"He's such a good kid," she said softly, calming down. "We have the best kid in the world and Ryan is the only other person his age to ever have seen that."  
  
"Honey..."  
  
"It's my fault," she said hoarsely. "I talked her out of having an abortion because of my own stupid...thing and now two broke seventeen-year- old kids are starting a family. And my son lost his best friend. The first best friend he's ever had in his entire life." He tried to feel for her. And, of course, he did feel for her, he felt horribly for her, but his curiosity got the best of him.  
  
"What stupid thing?" He felt her body go rigid in his arms.  
  
"What? Nothing. I didn't mean...I just meant my emotions. I let my emotions cloud my judgment. I should have been speaking as an adult...as a maternal figure. And I got emotional."  
  
"What aren't you telling me, Kirsten?" He could read her too well. It was a skill he both loved and hated.  
  
"Nothing," she said again.  
  
"You've let your words slip a few too many times today, hon. What's being left out here?" She looked up at him, scared.  
  
"I can't, Sandy."  
  
"You can tell me anything. I thought you did tell me everything. I'm supposed to know everything. I'm pretty sure it's a law." He smiled down at her. "Help me out."  
  
"I should have told you," she whispered.  
  
"Better late than never," he murmured into her hair as he held her. He feared what she would say next.  
  
"Nothing, Sandy. It's really nothing."  
  
"It's clearly not nothing," he replied.  
  
"I just...there were scares. With Jimmy. In high school. I never actually...there were just a few close calls." She forced a smile. "I can just remember how it felt to be so anxious, you know? To have a potentially life-destructing situation on you hands." She studied him, seeming frightened, then took his head in her hands and kissed him. "I'm going to go check on Seth." She stood up and looked back at him. "I love you," she said earnestly with a small smile. "I don't deserve you, Sandy." 


	2. Chapter 2

She found Seth sitting out by the pool in a lawn chair.  
  
"Hey, you," she said softly. "Could you stand some company?" Seth shrugged dismally, nodding towards the empty space on his chair. She sat down with a sigh. "What're you doing?"  
  
"Just needed some air."  
  
"Mm. Sounds good." She tousled his hair. "You okay, sweetie?"  
  
"Yeah. Totally excellent."  
  
"I guess that warranted a sarcastic reply?"  
  
"Kind of."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Seth." He shrugged.  
  
"It's not like I'm not used to life sucking. I just got out of the loop for awhile. I'll adjust pretty fast."  
  
"You've got Summer," she reminded him.  
  
"Until she gets bored, which, according to my calculations, should be happening within the next eighteen hours."  
  
"She really likes you," Kirsten said.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I'm a girl," she shrugged. "We know these things." He stared at her blankly until she let out a grudging laugh. "She competed with another girl for you. She converted to Judaism for a weekend for you. She followed you all the way to Las Vegas. It's all there, Seth."  
  
"Having a girlfriend isn't the same thing as having a best friend," he protested, still unsatisfied.  
  
"Sometimes it is. Look at me and your dad."  
  
"You guys are old. Doesn't count."  
  
"Watch it, Cohen," she laughed.  
  
"Summer isn't Ryan," he countered, and she nodded.  
  
"I should hope not." She studied him then touched his arm. "Try to have fun this summer, hon. Get to know your girlfriend better. Emphasize the 'friend' part. Don't let yourself get caught up in this. Ryan's having a rough time but he'll be okay. I know he wouldn't want you to be upset about this." He nodded in minor agreement, then averted his eyes.  
  
"Did you have an abortion?" he asked bluntly, and she was fairly certain that her heart stopped.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I heard you talking to Dad." She had no idea how to reply.  
  
"You were eavesdropping?" she scolded lamely.  
  
"Yeah. Did you?" His voice was forthright, something she recognized from Sandy.  
  
"This isn't really the best time to discuss this, Seth."  
  
"We don't have to discuss anything. It's a yes or no." It didn't take much for her to start crying again and Seth instantly lost his attitude when he saw the tears. "I'm sorry, Mom. I just wanted...I'm sorry. Please don't cry, Mom. Forget I said anything."  
  
"No," she waved her hand dismissively. Seth put an arm tentatively around her shoulders. "No. Well, I mean, yes, it's totally none of your business to listen in on conversations between your father and I...but if you overhear something like that...dammit, I knew this would blow up in my face. God. I knew it." She shook her head. "I should tell Sandy this first. But...you asked. What the hell. Yes, Seth, I did."  
  
"When?" he whispered, sounding about six. She briskly rubbed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"Not important. Not now. That I should definitely tell Sandy first. No offense." She smiled wanly and leaned more against Seth, who still had an arm around her. "Don't take this as an initiative to behave recklessly. Um...use protection. If anything should ever happen, come directly to me. If you're too scared, make good choices." He smirked at her and she laughed helplessly. "I'm trying to cover the parent checklist."  
  
"You've succeeded in being both embarrassing and hokey. Consider it covered." She leaned back and looked him in the eye.  
  
"Ryan will get through all of this. I promise. We'll help him in any way we can." She touched his face. "And make me a promise, sweetie?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't go to Chino alone. Ever. Ask me or ask your dad or ask...well, no, don't ask Hailey. But get an adult."  
  
"I'm seventeen, Mom."  
  
"I want you and your passenger to have a combined age of at least fifty. And three teenagers don't count." She smiled and then studied him seriously. "Ask me." He nodded, knowing that she had more in mind that his safety.  
  
"I promise."  
  
Okay! There is a third chapter already finished...so let me know if you like it, and if you do, I'll post it! Reviews, please, if you get a chance! )  
xoxo,  
Claire 


	3. Chapter 3

WOW! I've never been terribly fond of "wow," but the situation definitely calls for use of it. You guys are absolutely amazing reviewers! I was so very flattered by all of your lovely comments and I really, really appreciate your taking the time to let me know your thoughts. You guys are great! princesssparkles, I totally agree that a Kirsten/Summer scene would be great. I'm working on that, thanks for the suggestion! ;) You guys are lovely!!! ;) Please let me know what you think of chapter three. I, personally, think it's a little weird, but I suppose I'm overly critical of myself. It's your call. ;)  
THANKS!  
Claire

She left Seth awhile later and found Sandy watching TV inside.  
  
"Howard Stern. Lovely," she commented, settling next to him. "Ooh. The star of the latest 'Bitches and Hos Do Manhattan' installment. Must be a riveting interview." He looked up guiltily.  
  
"Hey, hon. There was just a..."  
  
"Really hot woman?" She smirked and he put his arm around her.  
  
"I don't need to turn on the TV to see one of those," he replied cockily.  
  
"Change the channel and I'll try to forget that you just compared me to a really skanky adult film star." She kissed him and he turned off the TV.  
  
"I did not!" he protested. "You're in a league of your own."  
  
"You need to work on your compliments. None of these attempts have really left me feeling better about myself," she laughed.  
  
"Hey, but look at you," he said, taking her statement as an opportunity to revisit the subject that he hadn't been able to take his mind off, even while watching the already scantily dressed woman remove her shirt. "You're looking much better than you were the last time I saw you. Good talk with Seth?" She shrugged and then nodded.  
  
"Yeah. He...knows how to make me smile."  
  
"Should I be insulted?"  
  
"No. It's a skill he picked up from his father." Grinning, he pulled off an oddly coordinated little move that ended up with them both lying down. He started to kiss her but she put a reluctant hand up. "Sandy. Wait." He stopped, confused. "As much as I would love to do this...which is quite a bit, believe me...there's something I have to tell you because...well, aside from that fact that I've been meaning to tell you for years, Seth just scared me into tell him and it's really only fair that I tell you since you're the one I wanted to tell first." He took a moment to process her request and then nodded, his nervousness returning.  
  
"Of course. Go for it." They both sat upright and she took one of his hands.  
  
"The advice I gave Teresa was based on a firsthand experience," she said without looking at him. His grip on her hand loosened considerably.  
  
"You had an abortion?"  
  
"Yes." Her voice was tiny. He completely removed his hand from hers, a gesture that surprised her and, more than anything, hurt. She knew she was supposed to elaborate but she had no idea where to begin, so she waited for his harsh lead.  
  
"When?"  
  
"I was...I was twenty-two." He was so quiet that at first she thought he hadn't heard her. When she turned to him, though, she saw an expression on his face like she had never seen before. He looked furious and shocked and scared.  
  
"Kirsten...you were with me when you were twenty-two," his voice quavered as he stated the obvious.  
  
"Not for the entire time," she whispered.  
  
"You know, as much as you seem to enjoy being cryptic and waiting for me to fill in all the blanks here, maybe you could do me a favor and just give me all the important details." She had never heard him sound so mean. Never to her, at least.  
  
"Okay," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears. "Um...well, we'd gone out a few months and then we...took a break. You remember that, I assume. I found out I was pregnant a week after we broke up. And that was a big deal for me, Sandy, I really thought...I mean, I really thought that we were done forever. I didn't really have a reason not to think so. As I recall, we both basically concluded that we wanted nothing to do with each other ever again. So I wasn't exactly ready to mother your child." She drew in a shaky breath.  
  
"Honestly, all this time I thought it was something with Jimmy."  
  
"No."  
  
"It was mine," he murmured quietly.  
  
"Yes." He stood up, his back to her.  
  
"God, Kirsten, I can't believe this."  
  
"I'm sorry, Sandy, I've never been able to find an appropriate time to tell you."  
  
"We got back together after three weeks!"  
  
"And telling you, 'Oh, yeah, by the way, I aborted your child' would have been such a step in the right direction for our relationship."  
  
"I deserved to know!"  
  
"I know. I'm sorry."  
  
"What the hell have you been thinking, Kirsten? It never occurred to you that I should be let in on this?"  
  
"Of course it's occurred to me!"  
  
"You waited eighteen years. This is unbelievable."  
  
"I haven't known how to tell you!"  
  
"It was half mine, Kirsten!" She started to cry.  
  
"Please don't yell at me, Sandy, this is hard enough as it is."  
  
"Yeah, let's sugar coat this. Let's not raise our voices. All you did was kill our child." She stood up, appalled.  
  
"I can't believe you just said that."  
  
"Yeah, how dare I?" he bit back sarcastically, staring at her with such a vicious gaze that she barely recognized him. He grabbed a pillow from the couch and started towards the kitchen. "I'm sleeping in the pool house."  
  
"Sandy, we need to talk about this!" she called helplessly. He turned to face her.  
  
"I don't know how to talk to you." She watched him storm outside and didn't even bother to conceal the fact that she was crying for the third time in the past hour.

  
  
So...there it is. Weird? Yes? I think perhaps. Let me know. ;)  
xoxo,  
Claire


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, here we go again! Two more chapters! Also...I guess, along with Seth's exit, I will be leaving out the Caleb/Julie Cooper wedding. Because that just made things more complicated for me. Plus it was kind of creepy. ;) Thanks for the feedback...and keep it coming! You guys are amazing! xoxo, Claire  
  
He sat in the pool house, crying—only a little—in spite of himself. They had broken up for that short time because of Kirsten's disapproving father, mainly, and for petty college-romance reasons that he couldn't specifically remember. Their breakup specifically consisted of Sandy calling Kirsten "Bitch Barbie" and Kirsten telling Sandy that sometimes he looked like a homeless person and would it really kill him to change his clothes every once in awhile? These apparently both seemed to be very biting and witty insults at the time.

Following the breakup, Sandy had spent two days in a drunken stupor, two more days in a state of dramatic revelation, and then two weeks behind a purple Les Paul borrowed from his roommate. His teenage guitar habit revived, he paid his roommate Peter ten dollars a day to give him lessons. On the last day of classes he showed up at Kirsten's dorm to do the most degrading and utterly mortifying thing he had ever done. She opened the door to find him stationed behind the ugly instrument, fully prepared to murder his dignity.

She stared at him in horror as he launched into a very distorted version of "More Than A Feeling." Peter backed him up with dramatic solos whenever he saw fit, which was about every ten seconds. She grew more and more afraid with each "I see Marianne walk away," and Kirsten had never looked quite so scared as she did when he completed the song by holding the final "away" for a full twenty-six seconds. It was not until he finished the song that he realized just how very irrelevant this song was, making it all the more disturbing. He hurriedly began his next number, Big Star's "Thirteen," which, though sung in a troubling soprano, made Kirsten cry. It was this that did the trick, though Seth preferred now to leave out the half-decent detail and relay the story as, "Dude, my dad won my mom over with Boston." Peter had disappeared after that, leaving them alone to reconcile.  
  
"I love you," Kirsten whispered as she buried herself in his chest. They stood holding each other until a neighbor, presumably a single and jealous one, stuck her head out of her door and snapped that they might consider getting a room, which was an odd suggestion considering the fact that they were both technically inside the door. They went inside and closed the door behind them and Kirsten kissed him. "You're so bizarre. Fuck, I love you so much." He carefully set his guitar on her couch. "Thank you, Sandy," she said. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me." She played with her hands. "Albeit it was also pretty disturbing," she nodded quickly, then bit her lip and smiled. "But so incredibly romantic. You have no idea."  
  
"Yeah, you're not usually a crier," he remarked. "I'm feeling pretty proud of myself."  
  
"I can't believe you learned Boston."  
  
"Not only that...I paid to learn Boston."  
  
"Might I ask why the particular song selection?"  
  
"Peter has limited skills."  
  
"I love you." She stared at her lap. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Me too!" They both laughed at his enthusiasm, and they were together after that. Incessantly until...right now. He smiled at the thought of his spontaneous college self. Dear god, he was helplessly cheesy, but he was also pretty fucking romantic. He tipped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes, feeling pathetic.  
  
He tried to think of her being so young and so alone. As her boyfriend, he had prided himself on being very supportive. How ironic that the one time that she needed him the most was the one time he wasn't there. He considered whether it was fair to blame her for not telling him, and decided that yes, it was fully justified. He was a pretty damn good husband, if he did say so himself. He sat idly by while she constantly flirted with her ex boyfriend. He didn't freak out when she kissed another guy, that same one, in fact. He allowed her to have an affair with her job and throw herself into soiree after soiree. He conformed himself to fit into the puzzle of her weird, upscale life. He took it like a man when she became an entire different person upon moving back home. He could be trusted. She knew that. She should have told him sooner; it was that simple. Still, though, he couldn't help but feel like he was overreacting. She had that effect on him.

She was out of his league, simply put. He wasn't putting himself down, but it was startlingly obvious that around here she was viewed as the superior of the two of them. She was gorgeous and incredibly successful. He had his charming moments and a mediocre job. It was no contest. It seemed like he should forgive her instantly to avoid being in conflict with his outwardly flawless spouse. But it was things like this, things that other people weren't allowed to see, that made it so hard. Anyone else would tell him that he was being a jackass. That he was crazy. How could he be mad at Kirsten Nichol? He sighed and flopped back and felt his stomach lurch when he thought of her dealing with the abortion. What made him even more nauseous was the fact that she probably woke up and gave it at least a few seconds of thought every morning and it took her eighteen years of those mornings to come to him.

He considered it and made a formal decision. It was the worst fucking day of his entire life. Serenading wouldn't get him out of this one.


	5. Chapter 5

Seth had once asked her, "So, is 'More Than A Feeling' like, a really momentous song for you now? Does it makes you cry? Like how everyone has that really cheesy Clapton song about looking wonderful tonight as their wedding song and it's so lame and they cry and buy it on vinyl and digitally remastered greatest hits and everything. Is that what it's like for you? Do you close your eyes and slip away? Hide in your music, forget the day? Cause, you know, so many people have come and gone. The faces fade as the years go by. As clear as the sun in the summer sky?" He had shrugged as she laughed.  
  
"You know way too many of the lyrics."  
  
"It's more than a feeling, Mom, what can I say?"  
  
"It's hard to have a special place in your heart for Boston, sweetie, but, yeah. It's a lost cause. I kind of have to at least appreciate it." Seth offered another shrug.  
  
"They're still the tenth best-selling album of all time. Could be worse."  
  
"Not much," she replied, grinning. She was thinking about it now as she sat in her room watching the single light still on in the pool house. The moment he arrived at her door with his stoned accompaniment she knew that he was both the most romantic and twisted person she would ever meet. She loved him to death for this.

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He left early for work, really early, and she sat dismally in front of a cup of coffee. Plans for a future model home were spread out across the table to distract her front the fact that Sandy wasn't tromping in with his surfboard or sometimes some stolen flowers from the Cooper's garden or a really good latte. Always with some endearing Brady Bunch greeting that made her feel like the most loved person alive. She still hadn't been able to disprove this theory—that she was, in fact, loved more than anyone else on earth. Sandy was pretty damn fond of her. Well, that was safe to have said yesterday. Now she wasn't so sure. She stood up with a sigh and got her car keys. This was way too depressing.

------------------------------------   
  
Her father greeted her with a cocky,  
  
"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed!" She smiled tightly and pointlessly arranged some papers.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"You look tired. You're grumpy when you're tired."  
  
"I'm neither right now, actually."  
  
"Full eight hours?"  
  
"For me it's always been a full four. And I am not grumpy when I'm tired." She hated that she sounded about eight years old. Caleb grinned.  
  
"I know my little girl too well, huh? What's going on, Kiki? Trouble with the Sandman?"  
  
"No, it's fine," she replied a little too quickly.  
  
"Aha!" He planted himself in the chair across from her. "Another woman?"  
  
"No, Dad."  
  
"Oh, dear God, I knew it all along...another man?" She rolled her eyes.  
  
"There isn't another anything."  
  
"So the Sandinator isn't satisfying you in the—"  
  
"Oh, my god, please don't finish that sentence. Ever." He laughed dismissively.  
  
"I'm going to if you don't tell me what's bothering you." She sighed.  
  
"Rough week, Dad. I'm fine."  
  
"The little delinquent left, didn't he?" As though she needed reminding.  
  
"Yes. Yesterday. Don't call him that."  
  
"I don't see why you're so upset, Kiki. The kid was no prize. I'd be happy to have him off of my hands."  
  
"That was...an unbelievably insensitive thing to say," she replied, her voice soft but obviously quite angry.  
  
"Come on, Kirsten. He was, at the very least, a disgrace to this family. You know that as well as I do." She stood up, furious.  
  
"He's a good kid, and he's a member of this family."  
  
"Kirsten, he's a criminal!"  
  
"He's a child!" she said. "And he's already a hell of a lot better man than you've ever been." He looked as stunned as she felt.  
  
"Go home, Kirsten," he said gruffly. "You're clearly not ready to be back here."  
  
"I'm sorry, Dad," she apologized frantically. "I don't mean that. It's just...a rough week, like I said. I'm worried about Seth and I just—I'm sorry. This is affecting me a lot more than I thought. I've just got a lot on my mind. I'm so sorry." He walked around her desk and gave her an uncharacteristic hug, smoothing her hair.  
  
"Day off, Kiki. Early dismissal. Go on. Vamanos. Before I decide to fire you." She smiled at his distorted attempt at a joke.  
  
"Thank you, Dad."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow," he kissed her head. "Bright and early."

All right...after reading over this I realize that my attempts at witty banter might be misinterpreted as my pitching Boston. As a good band. Um, yeah. No. I'm afraid not. I hope that was not how it sounded. I learned the best-seller trivia in Spin. And the lyrics, well...it's just a fucking catchy song. So that's all I'll say. ;) Review anyways, even though I'm such a loser?

xoxo, Claire


	6. Chapter 6

She had sent the housekeeper home and was now kind of missing the company. She had attempted to work and at least be productive on her ditch day, but then she abandoned all of her files on the kitchen table and opted for getting drunk and laying out by the pool. She was on her third glass of wine when she doorbell rang. Knotting her pool robe, she went to answer the door. Summer stood on the front step, looking bright and perky as she usually did.  
  
"Hi, Summer," she smiled and opened the door wider.  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Cohen. Sorry to, um..." she eyed the robe, "disturb you."  
  
"I was just tanning."  
  
"Oh. God, okay. I was just...that would have been...I mean, not because you're old...because you totally aren't...sorry. Nothing. I've just...walked in on my dad and my step mom more than...nothing. Sorry." Kirsten smiled but couldn't help but wonder why so many people had her sex life on the brain lately. This was the third or fourth time in the past few days that someone had said something. It was a little disturbing. She suddenly realized the awkward silence that had settled between her and her son's girlfriend and she smiled uneasily.  
  
"You know, Seth actually isn't around. I'm not sure where he is."  
  
"Yeah. He's at some comic...thing."  
  
"Oh. Okay." What was she doing here if she knew where Seth was?  
  
"I actually...oh, this is weird. Um, I actually wanted to talk to you. I saw your car pull in awhile ago...which sounds so creepy...I totally wasn't watching your house or anything, I just happened to see you pull in and I thought that with Seth gone, this might be a good time to talk to you."  
  
"To me?"  
  
"It's about Seth."  
  
"Oh. Of course, sure. Come on in." Kirsten crossed her fingers as she lead Summer inside that this wasn't a sex talk. She would not be able to handle that. She had never felt comfortable. "Have a seat." They sat in chairs opposite each other and Summer swung her legs nervously. "Is something the matter?" Summer absently nodded.  
  
"I'm really worried about Seth."  
  
"Me too," Kirsten smiled wanly.  
  
"Is it okay for me to be talking to you about this? Because you seem really cool and everything...but I don't want Seth to know I'm here because he would totally hate me for going behind his back to his mom."  
  
"What happens here stays here," she said with a shrug. Summer smiled.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"So what's the problem?" Summer took a deep breath and stared at her lap.  
  
"He's planning on running away." This took Kirsten by such surprise that she almost felt as though she'd had the wind knocked out of her.  
  
"What?" She then realized that she didn't want to hear the sentence repeated and hastily cut herself off. "Where?"  
  
"He's taking his boat. I don't know exactly...he asked me to come with him."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"I thought he was kidding. It freaked me out a little but I just laughed it off. And then he got really quiet, which, you know, is weird for Cohen—um, Seth. And I asked him if he was joking and he said something like 'I knew it was a dumb idea.' And then he started talking about the Backstreet Boys or something and when I tried to ask him about it he would just change the subject."  
  
"God dammit." Kirsten held her head in her hands. "I knew he was upset...I just didn't know how upset."  
  
"I wanted to tell you because I thought you might be able to help him. He said something about how last night you guys were talking and how it was really nice. And Cohen's not a feelings guy. Normally that would totally sick him out, you know? Like, feelings discussion with the parents. But he said that you said some really cool things and that it was nice." Kirsten glanced up.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah," Summer smiled. "I was just thinking that maybe...I don't know. You could talk him out of running away or something." She shrugged. "I'm just really worried about him. I wouldn't be able to...I would feel really bad if he ran away and I hadn't said anything to you."  
  
"Thanks for coming to me," Kirsten said. "I really appreciate it. That you care about Seth that much. That means a lot to me." She played with her hands and then looked up. "Are you guys okay otherwise? I mean, obviously this is probably kind of a...barricade for your relationship, but aside from it?" Summer shrugged.  
  
"Yeah. He's definitely the most interesting guy I've ever gone out with. It's a little scary...I'm just waiting for him to dump me. He's, like, freakishly smart and just really, really clever. He's going to get bored with me." Kirsten couldn't help but laugh and Summer looked a little offended. "What?"  
  
"You couldn't be farther from the truth, sweetie. He would absolutely kill me if he knew that I told you this..." she studied Summer and then shrugged. "He said the same thing about you last night."  
  
"Cohen thinks I think he's boring?" Kirsten nodded. "Seriously?"  
  
"Seriously." Summer opened her mouth to speak, looking quite pleased, when the front door opened and Seth walked in. Summer jumped up.  
  
"Cohen!" she squeaked. Seth eyed her suspiciously as he closed the door behind him.  
  
"Hi, honey," Kirsten followed suit and stood up next to Summer.  
  
"Hey. What are...both of you doing here?"  
  
"Your grandpa gave me a day off," Kirsten explained, and Summer nodded supportively.  
  
"And you?" Summer froze and Kirsten took over.  
  
"She just got here. She was looking for you and I made her come in."  
  
"No. I asked," Summer lied blatantly. "I wanted to hear embarrassing stories about you as a kid. She wouldn't tell me any."  
  
"That's because there are none," Seth said, grinning. "Once a stud, always a stud."  
  
"Ew," Summer remarked.  
  
"Yeah. Good one," Kirsten laughed. "Well, I've got work to do. You guys going out?"  
  
"Yeah, Cohen, I found this really cute bag the other day and I decided to wait until you could come with me. Because we all know how much you love the mall."  
  
"No..." he moaned, and Summer bit her lip.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Damn. The lip-biting thing. You suck. Let me get my wallet." He disappeared upstairs and Summer turned quickly to Kirsten.  
  
"Thanks a lot." Kirsten smiled.  
  
"No, thank you. We'll talk to him more. I won't let him leave. Thanks for coming to me."  
  
"I'm such a bad liar," Summer muttered.  
  
"You did fine."  
  
"I've decided that I'm only coming if you'll let me indulge in some Guns N' Roses!" Seth yelled as he bounded down the stairs. "I feel the need to do some really dramatic 'Welcome to the Jungle' air guitar solos." He galloped out the front door and left Summer to follow. She turned to Kirsten, laughed, and said softly,  
  
"How could I ever get bored of that?"  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
As much as she didn't want to, Kirsten knew she had to discuss what Summer had said with Sandy. She found him in the kitchen, holding an open file in one hand and a beer in the other.  
  
"Hey," she said softly, and he glanced up.  
  
"Hi. How was your day?" His voice was painfully cold.  
  
"Okay, thanks. You?"  
  
"Can't complain." He returned to reading his file and she sighed.  
  
"Sandy, I know you're mad at me, and you have every right...but something's going on with Seth and I think we really need to talk about it." He calmly set down the file and focused his attention on her. "Summer came over today when Seth was out. She says that he's been talking about running away."  
  
"What? That's crazy. Seth would never do that."  
  
"She said it seemed pretty serious."  
  
"That's ridiculous."  
  
"She knows him, Sandy." He stared at her skeptically.  
  
"No. No way. I'm not losing two kids in one week." His voice was oddly quiet and she could hear how much pain he was in. "I'll go talk to him."  
  
"No! Wait. I promised her that we wouldn't directly say anything to him. She says he'll be really mad if he finds out that she told us. He's already suspicious because he saw her here today. I think we should just keep a close eye on him for a few days and make sure...nothing happens."  
  
"How are we supposed to do that? It's summer vacation. We're working, he's home. He could pick up and get the hell out of here any time he wanted and we wouldn't have a clue until we got home."  
  
"Summer's with him during the day and she's just as worried as we are," Kirsten reasoned. "Just...act normal. Overly friendly, if you must. And if we think it's necessary, we'll intervene." He sneered and she looked hurt. "What?"  
  
"You're just calling all the shots lately, aren't you? Aborting one child, keeping an eye on another. She does it all. No task too great or too small for Kirsten Nichol." She was stunned, to say the least.  
  
"Sandy!" It came out as sort of a strangled yelp.  
  
"I'm sorry, should I have run that by you first?" She had never heard him be so openly vicious.  
  
"Fuck you," she muttered, too close to tears to say much else. He stormed out of the room. It was like they were back in college again, slinging insults. Verbal dodge ball, if you will. He was obviously very distraught by all of this. He would come to his senses eventually and apologize. She leaned against the counter and closed her eyes and tried not to hate him.  
  
-------------------------------------------------

Okay, that's it for now. I have more ready, I'm just doing some editing. So review and let me know. I was a little unhappy with the way I ended it, because it's a little out of character, I think, for Sandy to get so angry. But I kind of did that on purpose. Just to...show that he's quite mentally distraught over everything. Like my interpretation of a little breakdown, perhaps? Let me know what you think. Thanks for the outstanding feedback so far, you guys are awesome! ;) xoxo, Claire


	7. Chapter 7

He dropped Summer off in front of her house and watched her run up the driveway toting her new three thousand dollar purse. It had been another harrowing shopping adventure following the trip they'd taken three days ago, after he'd found Summer and his mother waiting in the living room for him. He still hadn't quite been able to process that. Summer was an awful liar and his mom wasn't much better. He pulled into his driveway and entered the house through the kitchen. He found his mom sitting dismally at the island, leafing through a magazine with a glass of wine in hand.  
  
"Hey," he said, opening the refrigerator. "Thanks for the automobile usage." She smiled.  
  
"No problem. Did you have fun?" He stared at her until she got the message. "You were shopping with Summer. Stupid question."  
  
"Where's Dad?"  
  
"Out with Jimmy Cooper."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"I said the same thing." She took a long sip of wine. "Restaurant stuff, I guess. I don't know." She closed her magazine. "You going out tonight?"  
  
"Nope. Summer's doing something with Marissa."  
  
"Okay. Well...me either. I'm just going to be doing some work. Here. So...you know, I'll be around. If you wanted to...talk. Or anything." He eyed her suspiciously.  
  
"All right."  
  
"Great. I'll be in my office."  
  
"I'll be in my room," he replied, attempting to follow the strange game she was playing.  
  
"Great," she said again, giving him an overly pleasant smile. He nodded warily and went upstairs to his room.  
  
She'd been acting strangely since they'd talked a few nights ago. It was a conversation he hadn't been able to forget. He couldn't fathom that his mom, who was arguably the most perfect woman in Newport, had such a flaw on her record. An abortion? When he heard that Teresa was having one, he didn't really think twice. He wasn't one who stereotyped or cared about money, but...hell, she was from Chino. It just wasn't a surprise. But his mother? His multi-millionaire of a mother? Perfect lives left no room for things like abortions. He hated thinking thoughts like that; it was proof of what living in Newport could do to your mind. Still, though, it made him a little sick to think about his mother. He had naively always thought of her as kind of a saint, the one who would secretly bring him ice cream when Sandy sent him to the confines of his bedroom to 'think about what he'd done.' The one who'd let him bow out of school on several occasions and spared him the agony of humiliating social experience after humiliating social experience. The one who made futile attempts to learn how to play his video games and never really succeeded. Sure, she spent more time at work than he would have liked her to when he was a kid, but she made such a consistent effort. She had always existed as kind of a glowing presence in his life, the one who he knew could make everything okay. And now he knew something about her that refuted her perfection. He didn't want to think about it.  
  
Even more troubling was the fact that the baby was his father's. He had reluctantly listened in on their fight, praying that he wouldn't hear something terribly unpleasant. This was not the case, he, in fact, heard several things that he wished he could forget. He was starting to understand, he thought, his mother's attachment to Ryan. He gave her a chance to have two kids raised under her happy roof. She would more than likely understand why he was so upset about Ryan leaving, because she was probably almost equally saddened. In under a year she had helped morph Ryan into a completely different person. And this new person, among other things, really loved Kirsten. He saw her as his mother. He was her second chance.  
  
He heard voices from outside and looked out the window into the backyard. His mom was in the hot tub, propped up on her elbows at the side, and Julie Cooper was towering over her. He couldn't clearly see his mom's expression, but he was betting that she was not pleased by this visit. He considered things for a moment, then ran downstairs. He watched them through the back door and saw Mrs. Cooper making elaborate hand gestures while Kirsten stared at her trying to mask her disinterest and annoyance.  
  
"So Cal figured it all out...the honeymoon is going to be so amazing. And the resort is really private, too, which is absolutely wonderful, if you know what I mean..." Julie said, winking exaggeratedly. The color drained from Kirsten's face.  
  
"I'd really rather not think about what you mean, Julie," she said. He burst out the door.  
  
"Mom!" Both women looked over at him and he made his best sick face. "I just threw up like eight times," he lied. Kirsten, looking both concerned and a little skeptical, pulled herself out of the hot tub and grabbed a towel. Mrs. Cooper looked disgusted. "Oh, hi, Mrs. Cooper. Sorry to interrupt."  
  
"Seth, honey, what's wrong?" Kirsten neared him and put a hand on his forehead. "You don't have a—,"  
  
"I just put a cold washcloth on my head. Trust me. I'm burning up," he said pointedly, and she took the hint.  
  
"You poor thing. Julie, I should really take him inside." Julie feigned a smile.  
  
"I should go." She started to leave, then took another look at Seth and broke into a jog. They went inside and Kirsten closed the door behind her, a smile finding its way onto her face.  
  
"You are a god," she stated. He shrugged, blushing.  
  
"You looked like you needed a little help."  
  
"I don't know what I was thinking going into the yard alone. She always comes over."  
  
"Could we have worse neighbors?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I don't know what we did to deserve that."  
  
"I thought you were working...?" he asked. She sighed.  
  
"Yeah. I got heinously bored. Numbers. Lots and lots of numbers," she shuddered. He nodded, then looked away.  
  
"Well...I was maybe going to watch a movie. And...unless you were going to do some more 'work', maybe...you would want to watch with me?" She was touched by his invitation and smiled.  
  
"I'd love to." 


	8. Chapter 8

Trying to escape the loneliness that accompanied avoiding Kirsten, a loneliness that he had been suffering from for about a week now, Sandy stumbled across Seth playing video games by himself.  
  
"Hey," he took a tentative seat next to him. "Feel like getting your ass kicked?" He picked up a controller and Seth smirked.  
  
"I don't think you realize who you're talking to."  
  
"Hey, I can take you. Any day. Try me." They both engaged themselves in a halfhearted game and Seth exited the match triumphantly.  
  
"I like how 'getting my ass kicked' shows up in the form of your player getting karate chopped to death. That's funny. That's quite ironic."  
  
"Aha! The sense of humor returns! I was beginning to worry," Sandy smiled kindly, setting down his controller as he saw the perfect segue into a serious conversation. "You haven't been yourself lately, Seth."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Are you? I'm not. In fact, I'm not fine at all. This whole Ryan thing...I don't know. I didn't expect it do be this hard." He was clearly dramatizing to get Seth to open up, and Seth surprised him and took the initiative.  
  
"Me either," he agreed. "I don't know. It wasn't like he even talked that much when he was here. You wouldn't think you'd notice the absence as much." Sandy laughed.  
  
"I know exactly what you mean, kid." Seth, suddenly quiet again, shrugged dismissively.  
  
"It's fine." He was apparently closed for discussion. "Rematch?" Sandy's player was hit by a tractor driven by Seth's player. "Hey, Dad?" Sandy glanced at him hopefully, expecting another admission of feeling. "What's going on with you and Mom?" His heart sank and his mind raced as he tried to figure out how to reply.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm not retarded, Dad. You've been sleeping in the pool house for over a week. Whenever Mom sees you she makes a point to storm out of the room. And the silence alone is enough of a tip-off. Usually there's more sexual innuendo and perverted banter than 'The Real World.' It's repulsive. And I haven't vomited in, like, a week."  
  
"That obvious, huh?"  
  
"Ridiculously."  
  
"Your mother and I just...hit a rough patch."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Not important."  
  
"Yes it is! My parents aren't talking! I could be very negatively effected by this as an adult. It could show up in the form of kleptomania or necrophilia or asexuality or really bad songwriting or returning to my mental state as it was when I was ten to escape the painful memories of my parents' estrangement. Dad, this is totally important."  
  
"It's private stuff, Seth."  
  
"Unless it has anything to do with...intercourse—which is actually a lot more revolting of a word than 'sex', so I don't know why I chose that...whatever. Nothing is too private. In a way, because there are only three of us, I'm kind of married to you guys, too. Oh, God. Wait. Gross. I'm really just...nothing's sounding the way I want it to."  
  
"No, you know what? You're right. Seth, your mom and I are fighting because she got pregnant with my child when we were in college and she ad an abortion and she never told me." This came out in a single, angry breath. He knew this was a controversial statement, but Seth looked too shocked. He appeared to be looking over Sandy's left shoulder, right at the...fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It would happen this way, that the one spontaneously inappropriate moment he had would be heard completely by Kirsten. She looked appalled, perhaps angrier than he had ever seen her, and also very hurt. Her expression was killing him.  
  
"Seth?" she said softly, always putting him first. "Could you give us a minute, honey?" Seth nodded quickly and scampered away. Sandy was left alone in a small space with this dangerous creature. She had this unbelievable stare that she only used in very serious situations. He was pretty sure that it was burning a hole through him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kirsten. That was...so out of line."  
  
"Mom, if you wanted to say 'ya think?', this would definitely be the time to do it. I totally wouldn't even make fun of you. Mainly because I'm afraid of your evil serpent glare. But still. I wouldn't—"Seth, reemerged into the room, was silenced by the very stare he spoke up.  
  
"Seth, we're going to need more than a minute."  
  
"Yeah. Some divorce settlements take years," Kirsten snapped. Seth, looking quite frightened, left the room. Kirsten neared Sandy, her voice biting and harsh. "You're damn right that was out of line, Sandy."  
  
"I was angry."  
  
"I don't care. There is no way that saying something like that to our son will ever be acceptable. I can't believe this. You think I wanted Seth to know about this?"  
  
"You told me that you told him!"  
  
"I told him I'd had an abortion, I didn't say with who!"  
  
"Well...I think that was inappropriate on your behalf," he said lamely, knowing he sounded ridiculous. She perched on the edge of the couch.  
  
"It was a lose-lose situation, Sandy. If I had told you that I was pregnant and we decided to keep it...we would have fallen apart. And because I didn't tell you, we're falling apart now." He softened and sat down next to her.  
  
"We're not falling apart," he scoffed kindly, putting a hand on her knee.  
  
"Look at us...we're becoming a dysfunctional family," she said matter- of-factly. "Ryan left us and Seth is depressed and I've been keeping a huge secret from you and now we're fighting." He studied her then carefully twined his fingers through hers.  
  
"Let's eliminate one of those. The latter sounds like the most likely possibility." He kissed her hand. "I'm sorry I've been so insensitive. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll say it all night if that's what it takes."  
  
"No. Please don't apologize to me. You're not allowed to apologize to me. I don't want to be let off the hook."  
  
"You deserve it."  
  
"In absolutely no way, shape, or form do I deserve it."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
"No, I don't." He was quiet for a minute, then spat out a quick,  
  
"Yesyoudo. I win." She couldn't help but smile. "Don't try to argue with me, Kirsten. You can't argue with the master." He put an arm around her and pulled her closer. "I've been thinking a lot about this. And I'm been trying to shed some light on it."  
  
"Yeah? What'd you come up with?"  
  
"We wouldn't have had Seth," he said simply.  
  
"I tell myself that every day," she smiled sadly.  
  
"This was obviously really hard for you. Telling me. I appreciate how difficult it was and I understand why it took you so long," he sounded as though he'd been practicing this. "I wish I could have been there for you."  
  
"You were," she whispered. "In the front of my mind, the entire time." He leaned back into the couch and she curled up against him. "I guess we should probably tackle some of the other problems plaguing the Cohen household?" she said wearily.  
  
"You want to take Ryan or Seth?"  
  
"I'll take Seth."  
  
"Okay. That's presumably the easier of the two...so help me with a plan for Ryan?" She sighed and nodded.  
  
"What the hell are we supposed to do?"  
  
"We could try to talk him into getting Teresa to move in here."  
  
"I don't want another kid living here, Sandy," she said quietly. He looked a little surprised.  
  
"I didn't know that. You were always so nice to her..."  
  
"I hate to be...uncharitable, but...we have a life established here. We have everything worked out finally and it works well. And this is how I felt before Ryan came, but...he was really having a hard time. He didn't have a family. Teresa does have a family and a perfectly good home. There's no reason for her to raise a child in our pool house when she could be doing it in her own house with the help of her family."  
  
"But Ryan..."  
  
"That's why I think we need to just talk to him. Maybe...get him a car so he can drive to Chino whenever he needs to. He's only seventeen, Sandy. We're allowed to make him come home."  
  
"But willingness is the question. And I'm not sure I'm willing."  
  
"We have to give our kids some stability. Seth just lost his best friend and Ryan's about to lose what's left of his childhood." Sandy nodded but suddenly looked excited.  
  
"You know, I know we're working on Ryan here...but I just got an idea for Seth." She looked at him expectantly. "There's a big comic book convention in L.A. this weekend. I bet he'd love to go." But Kirsten was already vigorously shaking her head.  
  
"No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. I refuse to spend the weekend in a dirty warehouse with a bunch of horny teenage boys fawning over cardboard cutouts of anatomically incorrect female superheroes. And I refuse to see that side of Seth." He laughed and shrugged.  
  
"Fine. But I can't think of anywhere that would make him happier this weekend."  
  
"I could take him shopping! To one of those skateboard stores! He could get some new shoes!"  
  
"Hmm...new shoes or a weekend full of his favorite things in the entire world?" Sandy pretended to weigh the options with his hands.  
  
"It's not fair! The last time I went to one of those things with him these filthy men kept calling me Betty and asking me where...Vanessa? Virginia?"  
  
"Veronica?"  
  
"Yeah! They kept asking me where Veronica was and laughing. And five people touched my ass. Not just brushed against it, either, like, cupped their hand..." she shuddered. "And a teenager in dirty sweatpants and one of those t-shirts with the tuxedos painted on the front grabbed my boobs—actually grabbed them—and then ran away. I've told you this before, Sandy, It's hell." He was laughing and she swatted at him.  
  
"Hey, you're the one who asked for Seth, okay?" 


	9. Chapter 9

She found him in the kitchen the next morning and triumphantly put her hands on her hips.  
  
"I've decided that as long as it's okay with you that I'll be spending the weekend with a bunch of sexually repressed—and, therefore, sporadically audacious—cartoon nerds, then it's fine with me. I'll go if I know I can trust my husband to assure my safety amid a large group of perverts. Can I trust you, Sandy? Is it okay with you that I am subjecting myself to ass-grabbery by men not bound to me by law?" He looked slightly defeated.  
  
"Aw, hon, not the guilt card. Please don't play the guilt card."  
  
"It's already on the table, darling," she teased. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to one-up you."  
  
"You can't make me go," she replied, laughing.  
  
"I don't plan on it. In fact...I have another plan that I think you're really going to enjoy."  
  
"Yeah?" She kissed him. "What's that?"  
  
"I'll take Seth. You can take Ryan."  
  
"Me?" She wrinkled her nose. "Go to Chino? By myself?" He had her pinned between himself and the counter and started kissing her. Suddenly they were interrupted by a startled cry.  
  
"Aaagh!" Sandy jumped away and Kirsten took a leap to her left. Seth was standing in the doorway looking horrified. "Oh, my god. Oh. My god. Oh, man."  
  
"Seth, what are you doing up?"  
  
"I was going to go surfing. But god...oh, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever—,"  
  
"You might want to watch your words there, son," Sandy warned.  
  
"Jesus Christ. That was the single most...dude, it's like eight- fifteen."  
  
"All right, Seth. Consider your revulsion recognized. Thanks," Kirsten said. He nodded as though he had done something admirable, then perked up a bit.  
  
"So...did I just hear you talking about going to Chino, or...?"  
  
"Oh," Kirsten glanced quickly at Sandy. "Um...no. I mean...we're just throwing around ideas."  
  
"Oh." He looked disappointed.

"We're going to try to get Ryan to come home," Kirsten explained, hoping to raise his spirits. Seth nodded, seeming a little more pleased. Sandy suddenly grabbed Kirsten's arm.  
  
"Hang on a sec. Seth, um...parental meeting. Wait." He pulled Kirsten out onto the patio. "I've got a great idea."  
  
"What?" she asked, both curious of and troubled by his strange Inspector Gadget behavior.  
  
"We'll all go."  
  
"You lost me."  
  
"To Chino! You're absolutely right, there is no way that you should go alone. With Seth? Great! With Seth and me? Greater than great! Spectacular!"  
  
"You have the biggest ego of anyone I have ever met," she commented, laughing. "But Sandy...Chino family road trip?" He threw his arms out dramatically.  
  
"Cohen family road trip!"  
  
"Both are sounding pretty unsettling."  
  
"Kirsten! No! You, me, Seth, and the open road!"  
  
"We're talking about Chino, Sandy, it's not like we'd be driving to Vermont." He stared at her incisively and she cocked her head doubtfully. "Cohen family road trip?"  
  
"Cohen family road trip!" he enthused.  
  
"Okay. That's been repeated a few too many times," she smiled.  
  
"Come on, what do you say?" She shrugged.  
  
"I guess it's worth a shot."  
  
"That's my girl!" He kissed her and Seth yelled from the kitchen.  
  
"Dude, stop. Seriously. Just because you went outside doesn't mean that I can't see you through the glass door. And just because you guys aren't fighting doesn't mean that you get to be disgusting. Let's get some invisible personal space circles established here."  
  
"Seth, I have a proposal!" Sandy ignored him, strolling back into the kitchen. "This weekend. You. Me. Your mom. Visiting Ryan. In Chino."  
  
"You might want to work on incorporating full sentences into your proposals. I think you'll be taken more seriously," Seth said, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the kitchen floor.  
  
"I'll keep that in mind. But what do you say? You up for a little—,"  
  
"Say 'Cohen family road trip' and I'll strangle you," Kirsten interjected lightly.  
  
"Is that a promise?" Sandy asked in a frightening Barry White voice, getting sidetracked.  
  
"Wow. Man. That was quite possibly the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed," Seth said, and Kirsten laughed.  
  
"Yeah, Sandy, that was a little creepy. Even for you." Smiling, she turned to Seth. "That aside, what do you think?" Seth shrugged.  
  
"Whatever." Kirsten and Sandy briefly exchanged confused glances, but Kirsten hid her bewilderment quickly with a smile.  
  
"Great. So...Saturday, then?" Sandy gave her a thumbs up.  
  
"Sounds good."

-----------------------------------------------------------------  
Well, this was kind of a big update. But I wanted to get it all out there...thanks so much for all of the reviewing! I really, really appreciate the feedback, particularly because you guys are so incredibly nice. ;) There's more to come. I'm not 100% sure where this is going, but I needed to have a change of scenery to write about. Hence, the little expedition! So I'll get working on that...and please let me know what you think about the latest 3 chapters!  
Thanks!


	10. Chapter 10

Seth got outside on Saturday morning to find his father stationed proudly in front of Kirsten's car, waiting for the remainder of the family to join him.  
  
"Oh, dear god," Seth stopped dead.  
  
"Top of the morning, Seth! You all set to go?"  
  
"Dad, take off the visor. I'm serious." Sandy grinned mischievously and straightened it on his head. "Dad. Not kidding. That visor is...a threat to humanity. That is the most horrible visor I have ever seen. And you might think that visors would be hard to gage, considering the fact that they're all so god awful, but this is by far the worst."  
  
"Ready to hit the road?" Sandy smugly ignored him.  
  
"It's literally glowing."  
  
"I'm sorry, who's the parent here?"  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"Who is it? Answer me that."  
  
"Dad, I—,"  
  
"Who's the parent, Seth?" Seth sighed dejectedly.  
  
"You."  
  
"Why, yes! And as the parent...I'm choosing to wear this blinding orange visor. Got it?"  
  
"Whatever, Dad."  
  
"That's the spirit!"  
  
"I'm seriously going blind, though. It's hurting my eyes." Kirsten exited the house and went straight over to Sandy.  
  
"Hey, Sandy?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.  
  
"Mm...yeah, hon?" She started to kiss his neck, and just as Seth was about to protest, she grabbed the visor and threw it to him like a Frisbee.  
  
"There is no way that I'm letting you wear a day-glo visor on the Cohen family road trip," she replied cockily. "Seth, if you wouldn't mind disposing of that horrible, horrible visor...then we can be on our way!"  
  
"Oh, man, Mom," Seth shook his head as he headed back inside. "Burn. That was a burn. That was the best burn I've seen in weeks. Dad, it has to be said. You got served."  
  
"I did not!" Sandy called back. "I still have some Ray-Bans hidden in the glove compartment!" Kirsten, her arms still around him, diverted his attention back to her.  
  
"Honey," she said pleasantly, kissing him again. "If the Ray-Bans come out...you are never getting 'served' again."  
  
"You guys don't let me have any fun!"  
  
"If wearing ugly sunglasses is more fun for you than sex, go forth and wear ugly sunglasses," she replied with a shrug.  
  
"You're killing me, Kirsten," he whined, and she grinned. Seth emerged from the house and rubbed his hands together.  
  
"That was more fun that you will ever know," he said. Sandy rolled his eyes.  
  
"Are we ready?" Kirsten asked, and when all agreed they got into the car.  
  
"Driver mans the radio!" Sandy called out.  
  
"If I hear any Lyle Lovett, I'm demoting you to the trunk and taking over your position," Kirsten affirmed.  
  
"Or the Thompson Twins," Seth chimed in.  
  
"Soft Cell!" Kirsten added.  
  
"Seger!"  
  
"Janet Jackson!"  
  
"Any other Jacksons...even Jacksons that have been rejected by the musical industry but managed to get albums out anyways!" Their list continued for a good two minutes while Sandy look on, unamused.  
  
"Are you done?" he asked, and Kirsten and Seth exchanged a glance before shrugging.  
  
"I guess we covered everything." Sandy nodded and played with the presets. When he settled on a station, Seth lunged from his seat in protest.  
  
"50 Cent. You're kidding me."  
  
"I like this," Sandy said, turning up the volume in protest. Kirsten rubbed her temples.  
  
"Oh my god. You really are a pimp," Seth said.  
  
"Sandy, please turn this off." He sighed and flipped around, impishly grinning as he settled on something highly synthesized. "No!" Kirsten protested.  
  
"Wham didn't make the forbidden list, you music snobs. This is perfectly legal," Sandy said.  
  
"It's June! Why is 'Last Christmas' on in June?" Seth whimpered.  
  
"How did we forget Wham?" Kirsten asked miserably.  
  
"You might want to get out your headphones, Seth," he said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"This is one of those songs I just can't help but sing along to." 


	11. Chapter 11

"Five minutes away!" Sandy announced cheerfully as they drove along. Kirsten was trying to hide her disgust at the obviously disintegrating society around them.  
  
"I feel a little weird about...just showing up," she said. "What if they're busy? Or gone for the day?"  
  
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Sandy reassured, taking her hand. She glanced in the back to ensure that Seth was still sleeping.  
  
"What are we doing, Sandy? We don't have...a plan, or a—"  
  
"Sometimes spontaneity is necessary for success," he said, smiling at his rhythmic word choice. "Not showing up with some big, written-out movie speech or a strategic plan."  
  
"I'm having second thoughts."  
  
"You always do, darling."  
  
"And sometimes they're totally legitimate!"  
  
"But usually they're just irrational worries."  
  
"I just don't want to be...you know, a home wrecker." He smiled at this.  
  
"You know what, honey? They're two seventeen-year-old kids with about a hundred dollars between them trying to start a family. I'd say their home is already beyond wrecked." She sighed and glanced out the window just as Sandy pulled into a short gravel driveway.  
  
"Here we are!" Kirsten again tried to mask her distaste but failed. "What's on your mind?" Sandy asked.  
  
"He left Newport to live here," she acknowledged incredulously.  
  
"It's not always about money," Sandy shot back rather defensively.  
  
"I'm not saying...I mean..." she sighed exasperatedly. "It's just that I can't believe that this is what he left us for."  
  
"Poverty isn't always to bad," he remarked with the same edge to his voice. "Twenty-five years of it right here...and I turned out okay."  
  
"Yeah, you turned out fantastically," she replied, rolling her eyes. "I don't need the 'Sandy Cohen's Rise to Success' story for the thousandth time."  
  
"Not everyone was handed life on a silver platter."  
  
"Yeah, I'd really call a negligent father and a dead mother fit for a silver platter. Don't start with that, either."  
  
"You're the one who started it in the first place!"  
  
"Sandy, I don't think you're exactly the right guy to be sermonizing neediness, okay?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You seem pretty content in your BMW."  
  
"I can't believe we're having this conversation."  
  
"Well, we wouldn't be having it if you hadn't—"  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen?" They both jumped at the sound of a vaguely familiar voice. Teresa was standing outside of Sandy's window, looking uncomfortable. Sandy laughed and gestured between himself and Kirsten.  
  
"We're just basking in the joy of marriage," he joked, and Kirsten smiled sheepishly. They both climbed out of the car, Seth still sleeping soundly in the backseat.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," Kirsten neared her, dispensing an awkward hug. "How're you feeling?" Teresa shifted her eyes and shrugged.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"We hope we're not interrupting," Sandy said. "Surprise visit. You know Kirsten. We couldn't keep her away from you guys." Kirsten gave him a gentle shove and Teresa smiled slightly.  
  
"No. You're not...interrupting at all. Come on in. I'm the only one home...everyone else is out." She gestured for them to follow and Kirsten and Sandy exchanged perplexed glances as she started inside. Kirsten opened the back door of the car.  
  
"Seth...we're here." He leapt from his sleep with such vigor that Kirsten yelped a little. When Seth realized how blatant his animation was, he glanced away and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"We're here? That's cool," he muttered. Sandy started inside behind Teresa but Seth grabbed Kirsten's arm and held her back.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked. He nodded frantically towards his father and motioned for Kirsten to hang back. Confused, she called out, "Hey, Sandy...Seth's just trying to...fix the GPS. We'll be there in just a minute." Sandy shrugged, puzzled, but playing along.  
  
"Okay." Kirsten spun to face Seth.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"Yeah. Um. I'm not exactly feeling the whole...going in and seeing Ryan thing."  
  
"He's not home."  
  
"Oh! All right, cool. Let's go take the grand tour. And by 'grand' I mean, like, twelve seconds, because this is one of the smallest—"  
  
"Seth." He stopped guiltily. "Why don't you want to see Ryan?"  
  
"No...reason."  
  
"Seth." He sighed, giving in.  
  
"I just, uh...we didn't leave on the best of terms."  
  
"You didn't?"  
  
"I was mad at him."  
  
"You seemed excited to be coming. Kind of."  
  
"I was. But then I had second thoughts and I meant to talk to you when we made a stop and I could get a second alone with you, but then I fell asleep."  
  
"Why don't you want your dad to know?" Seth shrugged.  
  
"He doesn't have the same...emotional ties to Ryan that you have. He's a lot more...casual about stuff. You? Not so casual. I know that you were a lot more upset about it. I thought you would understand." She leaned against the car.  
  
"I'm scared to see him, too," she admitted.  
  
"That's not exactly the reassurance I was looking for," he said, and Kirsten smiled vaguely.  
  
"I don't know what to say¸ hon, except that I doubt Ryan holds anything against you. He knows that it was hard on everyone. It was hard on him, too."  
  
"He's supposed to be my best friend and I acted like such a jackass."  
  
"Well, I cried and acted like a child. We both probably made him feel really guilty. I think the best thing to do is just go in there and let him know that we miss him. And let him know why we both acted the way we did. Because we miss him."  
  
"Do you really think he'll come home with us?" She shook her head wistfully.  
  
"I have absolutely no idea." They stood in silence while Kirsten considered things. "If you really don't want to go in you don't have to. I can make up something and you can hang out in the car." He smiled and shook his head.  
  
"I'm good. I can do this. It's Ryan we're talking about. And he's not even home. I can...handle it."  
  
"Good," she smiled. "Should we go?" 


	12. Chapter 12

Meanwhile, Sandy sat awkwardly in Teresa's kitchen and watched her dodge questions about Ryan and all things pertaining.  
  
"So, how was the transition back here?"  
  
"Oh...you know."  
  
"Where is Ryan, by the way?"  
  
"He, uh—he's at—sorry, excuse me just a second. I think I hear my...brother's pager going off." She scurried away just as Kirsten and Seth entered the kitchen.  
  
"Fix the old GPS, Seth?" Sandy asked sarcastically. "What the hell happened? I thought you guys were going to ditch me."  
  
"It was guy stuff," Seth replied, prompting odd looks from both parents. "I mean...guy to, um, woman stuff."  
  
"Tell you later," Kirsten whispered as she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm sorry about...what happened in the car. I was just anxious." He smoothed back her hair and smiled.  
  
"Me too."  
  
"What happened in the car?" Seth asked.  
  
"Just guy stuff," Sandy replied mockingly.  
  
"I'm really not liking this insinuation that I'm a guy," Kirsten protested.  
  
"I'm sorry, 'guy to woman' stuff," Sandy corrected himself.  
  
"So, where's Ryan?" Kirsten asked, folding her arms and pretending not to be inspecting the kitchen.  
  
"We were just getting to that when Teresa was beckoned by a silent and invisible pager," Sandy muttered. Teresa reentered the kitchen smiling uneasily.  
  
"Hey, Seth. Can I get you guys something to drink?" They declined her offer and the silence returned. Kirsten cleared her throat.  
  
"So, Teresa, how have things been going?"  
  
"Okay," she nodded.  
  
"And where's Ryan?"  
  
"He...um..." Sandy took the lead as her eyes darted nervously.  
  
"What's going on, Teresa? Is everything okay with Ryan?"  
  
"He left," Teresa said bluntly. "I have absolutely no idea where he is." Kirsten's heartbeat quickened.  
  
"Left, you mean, like...for the day?" Sandy put his hand at the small of her back to steady her.  
  
"Eddie was pretty mad upset when he heard that the baby might have been Ryan's. He...um...he had some of his friends, uh...they waited outside one night and when he came out they all just started beating on him. Five or six guys. And...when they finally left, Ryan left, too. He got some of his stuff and he said that he couldn't handle being back here. And then he just...walked out."  
  
"How long ago?" Sandy asked, holding onto a shaking Kirsten with more strength than before.  
  
"Wednesday," Teresa replied, looking ready to cry.  
  
"You didn't think to call us?" Kirsten asked. "He's been gone for four days and it never occurred to you to give his parents some notice?"  
  
"I called his mom," Teresa said meekly, the words stabbing Kirsten like a knife. "She hasn't seen him."  
  
"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?" Sandy asked quickly to divert Kirsten's wounded attention.  
  
"No. Nobody's seen him anywhere."  
  
"Ryan would just leave you," Seth, silent until then, remarked softly. "He makes too much of an effort to be reliable. He wouldn't leave after all the trouble he went through to get here." Teresa glanced away.  
  
"I'm not pregnant." A silence fell over the small room. "I saw how mad Eddie was and I was scared for Ryan so I had an abortion and told everyone that I miscarried and that they tested it and found out it was Eddie's. But Eddie couldn't get through to his friends and they assaulted Ryan anyways."  
  
"How did you leave that part out the first time you told us this?" Kirsten asked angrily.  
  
"I thought you would be mad."  
  
"Yeah, well, you thought right." Kirsten left the kitchen and went out through the front door, trying not to cry. The story didn't even fucking make sense. It sounded like a play or something. A bad play. And who would believe that an impoverished, irrational teenager had actually had an aborted fetus tested for DNA? It was fucking ridiculous. She stared down the block at the row of identical houses and hated these people for corrupting Ryan. He was a kind, smart, caring kid. He had such great potential and such good intentions, and now he was nowhere to be found. She leaned against the car and tried to compose herself. Suddenly Seth appeared beside her.  
  
"I know Dad's supposed to be the one following you out here, but he switched into lawyer mode. He's interrogating the hell out of Teresa." She couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Never run away, Seth, promise me that?" His expression turned oddly serious and he nodded.  
  
"Sure, Mom." He folded his arms and squinted up towards the sun. "You think we'll find him?" She nodded in clarification.  
  
"We'll find him."  
--------------------------------------------  
Okay! That's it for now...let me know what you're thinking. Personally, I think it's weird. But that's what I think about everything I write, so some honest opinions would be lovely. ;) You guys are so amazingly kind and I LOVE your reviews because you're so nice and you make me feel quite happy. ;) Let me know if you're interesting in my continuance...;)  
Thanks! 


	13. Chapter 13

HEY! I'm back! And proposing a toast...to these next couple chapters not sucking. Please let me know what you think. You kick ass! ;)  
xoxo  
  
After deciding that searching Chino was a lost cause, they got back into the car and started towards home. Sandy, this time, didn't attempt to force his awful music on his family, and in turn the car was uncomfortably silent. The only sound came from Seth, nervously drumming songs out onto his legs. When they got home it was late, around eleven. Traffic had been brutal and everyone's patience was tried. Kirsten leaned dismally against the kitchen counter and sighed.  
  
"What are we doing?"  
  
"We're eating some ice cream, first and foremost," Seth replied, digging through the freezer.  
  
"I was actually speaking more in terns of Ryan," Kirsten said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"So was I. We're having some ice cream and thinking things over." She smiled weakly as Sandy started getting out the bowls.  
  
"You guys ate like an hour ago." Both Seth and Sandy's faces contorted with disgust and Sandy slid an arm around her waist.  
  
"Hon, the little bags of granola you packed were very attractive and very health-conscious, but..."  
  
"It tasted like butt," Seth completed bluntly.  
  
"I was going to be kinder with my adjectives, but...yeah, it did," Sandy agreed. Kirsten laughed.  
  
"I threw mine out the window. I assumed you two had enjoyed it because your bags were empty," she said with a shrug. Seth unzipped a pocket of his backpack to reveal that it was full of granola.  
  
"I tossed mine out the window, too," Sandy admitted.  
  
"One of the girls at my yoga class told me that granola was the new chocolate," Kirsten explained.  
  
"She was wrong," Seth said, spooning ice cream into bowls. He handed one to each of his parents and hoisted himself up on the counter to eat his own. There was a brief silence while Sandy and Kirsten settled themselves at the island.  
  
"Could Ryan be with Marissa?" Kirsten suggested.  
  
"I was with Summer and Marissa yesterday," Seth said. "Plus I think they left on kind of bad terms."  
  
"Where, then?" Kirsten thoughtfully played with her spoon.  
  
"You don't think he..." Sandy stopped in mid sentence, shaking his head.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Dawn?" he said guiltily.  
  
"Oh, my god..." Kirsten muttered. "You don't—I mean—he wouldn't...oh, god."  
  
"It was just a thought," Sandy said. "I'm not saying...I'm not saying anything. We just have to consider...everything."  
  
"Do you think he would?" Seth asked.  
  
"Well...look what happened to Ryan. He came here and he was just starting to feel worth it. And then the second he went to Chino he was just demeaned again by those assholes who beat him up. He felt like he used to feel. So...maybe he'd go back to the place where all of that started?"  
  
"But he doesn't even know where that is," Seth objected.  
  
"Teresa knew," Sandy replied. Kirsten sat fidgeting.  
  
"But...that's kind of a stretch, right? Ryan felt at home here. He was getting really comfortable with us. With me, even. I mean, I thought...I thought I was kind of becoming..."  
  
"His mom?" Sandy completed. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her. "You were. It is kind of a stretch. I'm just saying...we want to cover all of our bases here."  
  
"Yeah, Mom, you totally were. People who saw is thought I was the adopted one. And even though I do kind of look...extra-terrestrial, it was more because you and Ryan were so...matching." Kirsten laughed in spite of herself.  
  
"You don't look extra-terrestrial," she replied kindly.  
  
"No, I totally do. I get it from Dad. It's cool. Chicks dig aliens."  
  
"I look extra-terrestrial?" Sandy interjected, offended.  
  
"No!" Kirsten protested while Seth nodded furiously.  
  
"No offense, Dad. It's not exactly a bad thing."  
  
"How do I look extra-terrestrial?" Sandy studied his reflection in the side of the toaster.  
  
"It's just a general...thing. Nothing specific."  
  
"Neither of you look extra-terrestrial," Kirsten mediated.  
  
"She's being nice because she's the attractive member of the family," Seth explained to Sandy. "In her mind she's seeing you flying across the sky on a bike. Trust me, man."  
  
"I am not!" she disputed, laughing. Seth hummed the "E.T." music softly and Sandy glared at him.  
  
"Back to Ryan..."  
  
"Right." Kirsten sat up straight, assuming a more serious position.  
  
"I, frankly, can't see him going back to Dawn," Sandy said, shrugging. "But with the children of alcoholics and possible abusers, you never can be sure of the mental state or the degree of loyalty."  
  
"Hey, message," Seth suddenly quipped. Sandy rolled his eyes.  
  
"If this is the beginnings of an 'E.T., phone home' joke--,"  
  
"Phone message, dude. Not everything is about you." Seth smirked as he pressed the blinking button and they all listened with anxious ears.  
  
"This is Dawn Atwood, Ryan's mother. I just got a call from one of Ryan's friends that he ran away. I don't know what the hell that's about, but if that's true...I'm suing your asses for...abuse. Have him call me the second he gets this." Sandy laughed disgustedly.  
  
"I'd kill for her to turn us in for child abuse. That'd make for quite a trial." Seth mused incoherently about the irony while Kirsten was still staring at the now silent machine.  
  
"What a bitch. What a senseless, conniving...degenerate bitch."  
  
"Ooh, Mom. Busting out the profanity on us."  
  
"She couldn't really sue us, Kirsten," Sandy explained softly.  
  
"I know! I don't care! Who the hell does she think she is?"  
  
"She's not the sharpest blade in the drawer," Seth narrated.  
  
"Look what she did to him," Kirsten muttered, and Sandy gently touched her hair.  
  
"We're going to find him."  
  
"I hate to rain on the parade, but wasn't that our number one suspect who just called and cleared her name? And I guess she could have been pulling, you know, like a little 'Magnum, P.I.' hoax type of thing, but personally I don't think she has the brains," Seth commented.  
  
"Back at square one," Sandy said in agreement. He sighed. "Well, what the hell. It's almost twelve. There's nothing that we can get done tonight. Is anyone else up for a midnight swim? I need to unwind." Kirsten shrugged.  
  
"That sounds kind of nice." Seth shook his head.  
  
"No way. I'll be upstairs. You guys have...ew...um...I'll be upstairs." Kirsten laughed.  
  
"Night, honey." 


	14. Chapter 14

Ten minutes later Kirsten met Sandy outside, where he was already taking furious laps around the pool.  
  
"Jesus, I didn't know you were actually going to be 'unwinding.' I assumed that was...code." She stepped into the hot tub and smiled at him as he watched her from the edge of the pool.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Me and my codes. We're unstoppable. What can I say?"  
  
"No, it's fine," she smirked. "You keep training for the triathlon and I'll just be over here by myself."  
  
"Oh, that's so not fair." She laughed.  
  
"I'm like three feet away."  
  
"But...I like both kinds of unwinding. Unwinding-unwinding and code- unwinding."  
  
"Your call, Sandy." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.  
  
"Code-unwinding totally works," he decided, climbing out of the pool. He joined her in the hot tub, wrapping his arms around her when she leaned against his chest. "Are you okay?" She nodded. "Okay-okay or code-okay?" He teasingly played with her hair and she sighed.  
  
"I don't know." She paused, then turned to face him for a moment. "No, I do know. I'm not okay at all. I lost my kid. Or my...almost-kid. I have absolutely no idea where he is, and...it's my fault that he left Teresa in the first place."  
  
"How the hell is that your fault?"  
  
"I...encouraged abortion."  
  
"No. No, I'd say that you did quite the opposite."  
  
"She told me that my life was perfect and I told her that I'd had an abortion. Thus, proof that one can make a huge mistake and still end up living in Newport with a great job, an amazing husband and a fantastic son. Two fantastic sons."  
  
"Kirsten, do I even need to tell you how ridiculous you're being?"  
  
"I just want him to come back."  
  
"Me too," he whispered into her hair. "He'll come home."  
  
"How do you know?" she asked restlessly.  
  
"Because we're his family and he wouldn't do that to us." This answer seemed to satisfy her and he felt her relax.  
  
"I love that you always say the perfect thing," she smiled. "I would have gone crazy ages ago if you weren't around."  
  
"I really am the greatest man alive," he confirmed, grinning. She turned around to face him, straddling him with her legs.  
  
"We still have to work on the massive ego," she kissed him.  
  
"Who can blame me? I rule." He returned the kiss with more vigor.  
  
"Jesus Christ," she ran a hand through his hair. "You're on the verge of making yourself very undesirable." He held her head in his hands and engaged her in a very elaborate kiss.  
  
"Did I just get off the verge?"  
  
"Mm...definitely."  
  
She offered to retrieve towels for them awhile later, and she paused a moment in front of the pool house. It hadn't really been "the pool house" for months. She entered almost hesitantly and went straight for the towel closet, finding the spotlight outside to be enough to light up the inside. This was her first mistake. She was pulling out a towel when she heard a loud,  
  
"Fucking A!"  
  
She screamed. Not only wasn't she fond of the particular phrase, but there was someone in their pool house. With her. Alone. Suddenly the spotlight was no good; she could barely see a foot in front of her.  
  
"Oh my god oh my god oh my god," she cowered in the corner, clutching her towel shield with dear life. "Take anything you want!"  
  
"Kirsten?" Jesus. The assailant knew her name! And she was barely dressed! Oh, god. Of all the times to be robbed, it had to be while she was wearing a bikini. She wrapped the towel around her, her eyes tightly shut. She didn't want to witness her own murder.  
  
"There's a safe behind the picture on the east wall. There's not much in it, but the combination is--,"  
  
"Kirsten!" Hands were planted firmly on her shoulders. She finally opened her eyes, and her breath caught in her throat.  
  
"Ryan." Her initial terror was instantly forgotten and she threw her arms around him. "Oh my god..."  
  
"Sorry I scared you," he said, secretly appreciating the inane length of the hug. "I got here this afternoon and everyone was gone. I assumed maybe...family vacation or something. I thought I'd crash here. I'm sorry."  
  
"No, no, no," she said, her face buried in his shoulder. "This is your home, Ryan. It's not your fault that I'm...psychotic."  
  
"We really need to work on your self-defense skills, hon." Sandy stood in the doorway, having witnessed the entire scene following her scream with great amusement. He looked at Ryan, grinning.  
  
"Welcome home, kid."  
  
"I'm sorry to just come back. It's...kind of a long story."  
  
"We know," Kirsten smiled sympathetically. "We went to surprise you with a visit today and...we ended up getting the surprise, I suppose."  
  
"You went to Chino?"  
  
"Yeah, we left this morning." Ryan turned to Sandy for clarification.  
  
"Kirsten went to Chino?" Sandy shrugged.  
  
"She's a trooper."  
  
"Sandy! Stop! I was! I thought your hometown was very...nice, Ryan. The houses and...the people and the...foliage. Everything was very nice."  
  
"She got a little claustrophobic," Sandy explained jokingly. "And she brought some pepper spray along for safety. Aside from that, she did as well as could be expected." Ryan smiled.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"For what, sweetie?"  
  
"For coming. Both of you. I mean...I don't know...it's just nice to know that...uh..."  
  
"We've got your back, Ryan," Sandy smiled.  
  
"All the time," Kirsten added quickly.  
  
"Thank you," he looked down, staring intently at the floor. Kirsten remembered her attire, or lack thereof, and started out the door.  
  
"I'm going to go change." She glanced back at the bare mattress. "And get you some new sheets." She disappeared out the door, leaving Sandy and Ryan alone.  
  
"So, hey, I'm sorry about what happened," Sandy said. "You need me to go back there and kick anyone's ass for you?" Ryan laughed, shaking his head.  
  
"Naah. I just want to forget about it."  
  
"Well...I've been in the same position as you more recently than you'd think. So if you need to talk, I'm around." Ryan glanced up curiously.  
  
"Who beat you up?"  
  
"I was talking about Teresa. The baby." His expression grew more inquisitive and Sandy shrugged it off. "The details...aren't exactly important. Maybe I'll tell you some other time. But if you feel like talking about anything, I've been there."  
  
"Thanks, Sandy."  
  
Okay. And the award for Most Awkward Leave-Off EVER goes to...ME! I just wanted to get a couple chapters out and I wasn't sure how to end this one. So I'll continue more soon. Please don't hate me for sucking ass. And please review!!! You guys are awesome!  
xoxo 


	15. Chapter 15

Wow. So it's been awhile since an update, huh? I don't even know if anyone cares anymore...except the lovely Shogunwoot, who reviewed not too long ago asking about a new chapter. So I did my best. I sort of suck at writing endings for stories, but...I did what I could. It's a little cheesy. A little lame. But just kind of a wrap-up. A full circle of sorts. Enjoy! Maybe...? Also, if you like what you see, take a peek at my new story, "Don't Let Go". That one should be updated pretty soon, too. It's been a busy week. Regardless, thanks for your kindness earlier with this story. And sorry it took me forever to update, for those of you who wanted to know what happened. Enjoy, and happy November!

xoxo

Kirsten, after quickly changing her clothes, went to Seth's room. She knocked quietly, unsure of whether he would be awake or not.

"Yep?" She opened the door and found him sprawled out on his rug. He appeared to be playing Jenga by himself. She smirked.

"Hey, honey."

"Hi." He eyed her suspiciously.

"Great news." He raised an eyebrow. "Ryan's back! He's been here the whole time! In the pool house! Asleep!" She shrank back, aware of her excessive punctuation.

"Wow." Seth straightened a bit. "Cool. That's awesome."

"You want to come say hi?" Seth quickly shook his head.

"Yeah. Um, no. I mean...it's pretty late and I have stuff to do tomorrow."

"Like what?" She took a few steps into his room.

"Summer stuff. Taking her sailing." Kirsten nodded.

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah? What are your thoughts on picnics? I was thinking of bringing on along. Maybe stopping on one of the little islands and setting it up on the beach. Lame or...like a nice, _Dawson's Creek_-y sort of thing?"

"Oh, definitely romantic." She smiled. "You sure you don't want to go see Ryan? Just for a minute?" Seth glanced away and she sat on the edge of his bed. "You lost that courage you had this afternoon?" He shrugged.

"I don't think it was ever really there in the first place."

"It's been a strange couple of weeks, hasn't it?"

"And how."

"You guys just need a little while to readjust?"

"Yeah, totally." She smiled.

"I'll tell him you're sleeping."

"You rock my world," he deadpanned. She stood up, ruffling his hair.

"Right back atcha." She started to go and he hesitated, holding up a hand.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" She turned to face him.

"That whole time we were freaking out? I wasted the E.T. thing that I've been planning in my head for months for some comedic relief that wasn't even necessary?" She laughed.

"Well, if your goal was to insult your father and make him self-conscious, I think you've succeeded. At least for a few days."

"Eh," Seth shrugged. "Good enough." She sensed that he hadn't called her back only to discuss his sense of humor and she knelt down next to him on the floor.

"I know you don't get into too many fights with your friends, so this is probably foreign territory...but your dad has had his fair share of...disputes. Mainly with Jimmy Cooper and your grandpa...but, you know. And the way that...men seem to reconcile is just by...I don't know. Unspoken agreement. I don't think you'll have a problem with Ryan." Seth paused, then nodded.

"You're probably right."

"Seth, no one is better than you at fixing awkward silences."

"That is true."

"So...let's go see him. I think your dad and I could even extend curfew a little bit tonight if you guys want to go out and...do guy stuff. Go to an IMAX. Or take your girlfriends out." At this, Seth perked up.

"Except I think Ryan and Marissa broke up." Kirsten shrugged.

"So don't. Do whatever you want. Just be home by...two."

"Oh my god. Dude, are you serious?"

"Don't call me dude. And don't question me or I'll give this actual thought and change my mind."

"Thanks, Mom. That's awesome. I thought E.T. was supposed to marry, like, a total skitzo pod person. Dad's really done well for himself, being an alien and all."

"Your father does not look like E.T.," she said, laughing. "But if this whole extra-terrestrial theory is correct, I'd watch out. You take after him a lot more than you do me." Seth rolled his eyes and jumped up, offering her a hand. He pulled her up and they started downstairs together. Sandy and Ryan had relocated to the living room and Sandy shot Kirsten a curious look upon seeing Seth.

"Hey, kid. Look who's home," he said, and watched as Seth shot Ryan a nervous wave.

"Hey, man," Ryan said.

"Welcome home," Seth offered, approaching him.

"Thanks." They awkwardly avoided eye contact for a moment until they both started talking at the same time.

"Look, man, I didn't—"

"I wanted to say—" They both stopped, laughed, and then Seth took a giant step towards Ryan and pulled him into an clumsy hug.

"Good to have to back, buddy," Seth said as Ryan patted him roughly on the back. Kirsten and Sandy shared a smile over the boys' shoulders.

"Good to be back," Ryan said quietly. They both stepped away from each other, uneasy.

"Hey, so...Mom's drunk or something and we don't have to be home until two. You up for an IMAX?"

"Sounds good," Ryan agreed, laughing.

"We'll be back later," Seth said over his shoulder as he steered Ryan into the kitchen. "Dude, I have so much to tell you." Kirsten was left facing Sandy, who smiled quizzically at her.

"Two in the morning? Unsupervised and free to venture off to any rowdy teenage party in the vicinity?"

"They're going to the movies," she said, taking a few steps towards him. He reached to pull her closer and examined her face.

"Are you crying?" She sniffled.

"No."

"You are!" He brushed a tear away from her eye and wrapped an arm around her. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she protested, absently swiping a hand over her eyes.

"Kirsten, honey, you can tell me if something's the matter." She shook her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face.

"They're just such good boys," she said. "And Seth has a brother and a best friend and...it's just so nice." He smiled at the way she was crying through her laughter.

"I know," he said into her hair. She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes again.

"I'm okay."

"Good."

"All of this. Everything. We're going to be fine." He pulled her into a hug.

"Glad to hear it."

And...the end! "Hurray!" or "Oh my god, you suck!"? Let me know. ;) Please leave a review! You guys are awesome!

xoxo


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